There are a lot of people that go to church every Sunday and are the “perfect” family in front of others. But in reality, they are imperfect and sinful persons. We are all imperfect and sinful but at least I wouldn’t try to deny that.
Due to some family issues, my sister and I had to stay with my paternal grandparents for about two years. We didn’t really know them because they didn’t come visit us, and my parents didn’t go visit them either; there were some issues there but at that time I was 10 years old and I really didn’t know what had happened between them. I already knew what parental loved meant and I was really sad that I had to stay there because I didn’t feel they loved me.
As it turns out, those are two of the most difficult years of my life (so far). Firstly, being around my grandparents meant there was always a constant fight; I don’t know why but when they were in the same room, you could feel the tension. Secondly, I had to do things I never did before. I had to learn to cook, make homemade tortillas (at that age, they were hard), wash my clothes by hand, and other things that a 10 year old wouldn’t do nowadays. Thirdly, we had to get up really early to do chores before going to school, but we would go to bed really late because of other responsibilities and my grandmother’s rosary every night (yes, for a little while, she had a rosary that would finish close to midnight until we finally complaint and she stopped doing it). And fourthly, they preferred their other grandchildren over us and they did so openly.
These things, and others I don’t have space to mention, were hard for a pre-teen and it was a tough experience. I did learn a lot of things from them and I try to focus on that because they really do come in handy now a days. And I don’t hold any grudges against them, or any bad feelings. I understand this is probably how they were raised and it’s the only way they knew how to do things.
But I thought it was funny how every Sunday, we would all go to church. And my grandmother would even volunteer to help afterwards. And right after church, they would start fighting again. For me, being verbally attacked is tough. I would sometimes cry just because someone would say something bad about me. I guess I had it engrained in my mind and didn’t know how to handle it. I’m an adult now, so I can handle (most of the time).
My point is that we don’t only have to go to church every Sunday, we have to follow the commands that God has given us and be good inside and outside of church. I think I would prefer to be good and do good every day and miss church, rather than to go to church once a week and be bad the rest of the week. I would think God would prefer this too but it’s not an excuse to skip church on Sundays.
I think a tongue is a powerful tool. We can either use it to lift someone up or destroy someone and God prefers the first one. Ephesians 4:29 says, “When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you.”.
I grew up hearing curse words and discouraging words that really affected my self-esteem. I don’t blame anybody for this because that is how they were taught before and were just acting upon what they had learn. But words have such a powerful impact in our lives. I never liked to hear curses and so I try not to use them ever, especially against any person. And I don’t think parents realize how their words impact their children sometimes. We can either lift them up and prepare them for the future, or we can really destroy them even before they get a chance to enjoy their independence.
My husband and I work really hard to avoid saying things that would hurt our children in the future. I know that we are not perfect so they are going to be situations where we don’t do things right but for the most part we do good. Saying “you are dumb” once doesn’t mean much, but if you tell your child that he/she is dumb everyday of their life, they will believe it and will act upon it. On the other hand, if you tell them “you can do it”, they will believe that too and that could make such a huge difference in their lives.
God wants us to be good to each others, and this also include to stop insulting us with words because they can hurt as much as a slap. So let’s stop gossiping about each other, and as the saying goes, if we are not going to say something nice, don’t say it.