It’s been a busy, busy time around this home! With a full time job, two toddlers, a husband, and a house to run, it’s a lot for a single person to handle. It’s a wonderful thing that my husband can stay at home with the kids; he helps me so much around the house and keeps the kids well fed, well dressed, and entertained. But even so, moms have a lot of things to do as well. Having kids is no easy task, they are a lot of responsibilities (but a lot of joy). And I’m happy to announced that we are adding a third baby to our family! She’s due December 1st so I’m almost in my third trimester.
Some of you might be saying “another one”? Why? Or like someone at work said today, “is this your second or your third baby?” “It’s my third”, I answered. “You need to stop having children” the other person said, half jokingly. I smiled and said “Why? I make beautiful babies” and left it at that. “What water have you been drinking”, was the question from someone else, a woman actually with children. Since when did having babies become a crime?
Why do some people feel entitled to provide their opinions when not needed? I’m not sure, but it’s their freedom, right? I must admit though, that these type of reactions have been on my mind since my husband and I decided to start trying for our third baby. I usually don’t care about what other people say or think about me, but once they get to my babies, I get very emotional and defensive. They are mine. I carried them for 9 months in my body, I’ve fed them from day one, I’ve been there almost 24/7 for them, I love them more than anyone in this world, so no one has the right to talk about them. Ever.
Of course, that doesn’t always happen; it’s just an ideal. We, as humans, are very judgemental by nature. And moms can be the harshest of critics.
“Look at what that kid is wearing?”
“He can’t talk well yet, but he’s almost 3”.
“You are going to homeschool your kids, they won’t have any friends”.
“You’re having another girl, your little boy is going to be in trouble”.
And the list goes on and on. And all I can do is smiled and either reply with my best answer or ignore the comment/question completely.
My husband and I want a large family. Well, he has always wanted a large family. I would have been okay with two kids. But he wants four. So we will try to have four little ones. But here’s my point. I think I wanted two kids because our society seems to have an “ideal family”. And it’s usually dad, mom, son, and daughter. In that order. For the longest time, what we were presented in TV shows, movies, cartoons, was the ideal family. And so now, we seem to have this thought ingrained in our minds that this is what a regular, normal family should be. Needless to say, that is not true. Not true at all.
I love my life. I love my family. I love my husband. And I love my children. And I’ve decided that I will have as many children as we want to have. No one else is paying my bills, no one else is feeding us or housing us. So no one has the right to tell us when to stop having children.
Don’t Listen to the Critics
If you are going through this, I encourage you to stop listening to those negative comments others have to say about your kids, and enjoy the moment. Remember that we are not responsible for the actions of others; we are only responsible for our own actions. So people will talk, that never changes. But you have the right to not listen to them and their criticism. If you want to have more than the “standard” number of children, don’t let them stop you. If you can have them, and have the means to raise them, can provide food and shelter for them, no one is stopping you.
Children are a blessing. Let no one make you think differently. It’s your life, so you choose how you want to live it. And with whom.
Needless to say, I’m very excited about my baby girl. Although my kids are 3 and 2 right now (well actually almost 4 and 3), they understand they’ll soon have a little sister. And I try to get them involved in our pregnancy. This morning we had a regular appointment to listen to her heartbeat and my children were there. It’s not easy. Like I said before children are a lot of responsibilities. Children are a lot of things. But I love them, and they love me. And that makes it all well in the world. Now, I won’t lie and say that I’m not worried about having a third one, I am. But not because of what other people say. It’s a third baby, so we will go through 3 of everything. But I know all will be well because God loves all his children, He loves us all.
Don’t let the comments from others deter you from what you want to do, or how you want to live your life. This applies to everything, not just about having children. I know it’s hard to listen to all the criticism, even from our own families sometimes. I’ve been there multiple times. My husband and I have decided on a lifestyle that is different than the rest of our families, and because of that, we’ve had to listen to a lot of negative comments about why we shouldn’t do it. But you know, it’s your life. You decide what’s best for you and your family. Even if you are mistaken, you will at least learn and grow from your experience.
If you are planning on a third baby, or if he/she comes unexpectedly, congratulations! You’ll have a new blessing.